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overcoming Archives - Elizabeth Sudler

Clueless about being clueless

By | Case Study, Emotional Intelligence, Resilience Strategy | No Comments

There is an assumption in psychological and spiritual circles that other people, irritating as they sometimes can be, act as a mirror.  That what we react to and dislike in them is a reflection of how we also behave.  Except that we do not know that we are doing versions of the very thing that they are doing.  It takes a leap of faith to accept this assumption.  I dislike pedophiles, and I am not a pedophile and never have been.  But I have ever in my earlier life manipulated, overpowered, or humiliated a person more vulnerable than me.    As I understand the concept, the issue isn’t necessarily that I need to behave in exactly the same way as the person who offends me, but that my intense dislike or judgment of them is the first clue that their behavior is triggering something important in me .   “Joe” is a an excellent example of someone who creates this effect in many people. Read More

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